The Fictional
Liveability Index

Location:
The Shire
Population:
200
Plus:
Cosy atmosphere, good food and unique architecture
Minus:
The dark forces of Mordor

Hobbiton is a simple place in a complex world. It is located in the middle of The Shire, among rolling hills and beautiful forest, and inhabited by hobbits, a species of halflings that never shies away from a good meal and a warm cup of tea. Small rivers crisscross the landscape, and cosy inns provide solid food and plenty of ale. The hobbits are always up for a pint, some singing and a bit of dancing. Besides a bit of rivalry and occasional grumpiness, the hobbits are generally speaking kind and welcoming.

The architecture of Hobbiton is impressive in its own kind of low-key fashion. Houses are built into the hills, with round doors and tunnel-like interiors. The craftsmanship is tip-top, with beautiful woodwork, elaborate ornamentation and proper handmade masonry. The Hobbits gather around the cosy fireplaces to enjoy their meals and drinks, while smoke rises from the small chimneys above. Hobbiton is also known for its tobacco herbs, which can make even the most powerful wizard a bit lightheaded.

But evil is always lurking beyond the mountains. The slow pace and cosy living of the hobbits is constantly at risk of being disrupted by opportunistic politics, vicious witchcraft and the dark forces of Mordor. Middle-earth is haunted by power struggles and greed. The Shire, however, is rather isolated, and evil rarely reaches its borders.

Hobbiton is just lovely, super unique and liveable. As long as the dark forces of Mordor are not ruining the party, the hobbits will keep on dancing and singing till dawn and enjoying life in this magnificent place. A no-brainer for the top spot on this index.

The review is based on The Hobbit film trilogy (2012-2014) and The Lord of the Rings film trilogy (2001-2003).

Location:
Couple Stone County
Population:
2,500
Plus:
Comfortable living conditions
Minus:
A bit too homogeneous

In Bedrock, 1950s suburban life meets stone age aesthetics and domesticated dinosaurs. The daily newspaper arrives engraved on a slab of stone, commuters travel the extensive highway system in wooden cars and houses are carved out of rock. The Bedrockians love to hang out by their garden pools while dino steaks are frying on the grill. Bedrock enjoys a warm climate and a relaxed atmosphere. Animals serve all kinds of utilitarian needs, from an elephant as a vacuum cleaner to a dinosaur as a fire engine.

The unique architectural style of Bedrock can best be described as a kind of stone age futurism. The town consists of suburban areas with predominantly single-family homes, surrounding a densely populated centre with shops, bars, restaurants and venues. Grab a snack at Al’s Brontosaurus Burgers, enjoy an ale at The Pool Hall or dine at the luxurious Rockadero Club. Go for a hike in the desert landscape outside of town or catch some cool jazz at the Rockland venue. The Arena hosts various entertainment and sporting events, like boxing matches and concerts.

In Bedrock life is easy, the beers are cold, and the steaks are big, but it is also a bit boring. Only traditional family values apply here. It is hard to deviate from the norm. Bedrock is smooth jazz and suburban bliss. The town has a low crime rate and easy access via the airport or the railroad. Not the most action-packed place on this list, but sure as hell pleasurable.

The review is based on the animated sitcom The Flintstones 1960-1966.

Location:
Maine, USA
Population:
3,560
Plus:
Beautiful location and welcoming locals
Minus:
High murder rate

Cabot Cove is the murder capital of the world. This seemingly quiet New England seaside town has a murder rate beyond imagination. Detroit or Baltimore are no match for this cosy fishing village. People are killed in all kinds of crazy ways: poisoned, hypnotised, electrocuted, stabbed with a spear, you name it!

All this gore should make for a horrible liveability rating, but Cabot Cove clocks in at third place on this index. If you look beyond the high probability of getting killed, this town is actually pretty nice and relaxing. The locals do not let a bit of murdering ruin the party. The tight knit community is usually socialising near the cosy harbour, where fresh fish is always for sale. The Hill House Inn has a great kitchen and offers reasonably priced accommodations. The Cabot Cove Chowder is a highly recommendable local dish, a must for any visitor! The town has a variety of small authentic shops that make for a relaxing shopping experience. The landscape surrounding Cabot Cove is beautiful. Steep cliffs face the Atlantic, while dense forest covers the hills. The town is made up of one and two-story wooden houses with an unmistakable New England charm.

Cabot Cove has seen attempts at modernisation. Greedy developers have tried to exploit the postcard-esque coastal location for resorts and hotels. Here the town’s high murder rate comes in handy, as the developers always seem to die in some obscure manner.

The frequent homicides sure do not prevent the residents of Cabot Cove from enjoying their cosy town and its beautiful surroundings. This place is highly liveable if you only stay alive long enough to enjoy it.

The review is based on the television series Murder, She Wrote (1984-1996).

Location:
Smurf Forest
Population:
100
Plus:
Psychedelic architecture and simple, authentic cuisine
Minus:
Gargamel’s terror and unequal gender balance

Finding your way to the Smurf Village is nearly impossible- it’s located somewhere in the middle of the Smurf Forest, in a place known only to the Smurfs themselves. In the village, you will find a dining hall, a theatre, a hospital and Papa Smurf’s laboratory, where all kinds of chemical trickery is performed. The Smurfs all look alike, with their blue skin, white trousers and hats. The village is led by Papa Smurf, recognizable by his white beard. The architecture consists of tiny houses constructed like mushrooms. The houses are decorated in all kinds of colours, making for a psychedelic experience.

When talking cuisine in Smurf Village, there is no way of getting around Sarsaparilla. Sarsaparilla grows in the forest, and can be enjoyed both raw or cooked. The Smurfs are also fond of raspberry juice and rum-Smurf cake, among other things.

Everything is smurf! The lovely little blue creatures can hardly pronounce a sentence without saying ‘smurf’. Smurf this way, smurf that way. When I get the smurf on this smurf, everything should be smurf. Smurf high, smurf low, smurf everywhere...

The main threat to the Smurf community is the wicked sorcerer Gargamel. He has been trying to chart the road to the Smurf Village for a long time, with little luck. Gargamel would love to cast some evil spells upon the little blue fuckers, but without knowing their exact location, this has proven harder than anticipated.

The gender balance in the Smurf Village is completely off. Pretty much all the citizens are male. Only a few female Smurfs do occasionally visit. This and Gargamel's terror are among the few bad things haunting this otherwise liveable place. Pay a visit if you are lucky enough to find it.

The review is based on the comics series The Smurfs (1963-1992).

Location:
USA
Population:
30,720
Plus:
Unique entertainment and authentic places
Minus:
A mediocre image and a poorly maintained nuclear power plant

Springfield does not have the best reputation. The small city has seen its fair share of ridicule, and is known to most as a rather mediocre place. Springfield is surrounded by soft hills and is organised in an archetypical grid layout. The city's main employers include a dubiously operated nuclear power plant and a union-busting brewery. The Springfield Mall is the place to go for shopping and socialising. Channel 6, the somewhat amateurish local broadcaster, provides the news and entertainment. The city is governed by an incompetent mayor, and the police force is not much better either. Springfield is also home to the Springfield Isotopes, a minor league baseball team, underfunded and without any significant wins.

However, there is much more to Springfield. Take a hike through the Springfield Gorge, visit the rough neighbourhood of Skid Row, or get your thrills at the rather insane Itchy & Scratchy Theme Park. Moe’s Tavern is an authentic dive bar. No backpackers or tourists to be found here, only binge drinking locals trying to escape the hardship of everyday life. Krusty the Clown, an alcoholic TV entertainer, has a rather crazy children’s show on channel 6. It’s not for the faint of heart, but it’s sure as hell entertaining.

Springfield is actually a liveable place, if you go beyond the surface. It can be insane at times, but never boring. Springfield has always been the forgotten little sister of Capital City, the region's economic and cultural centre. Now it’s time for Springfield to flourish, and show the world that this small town has more to offer than just a mediocre baseball team and a poorly maintained nuclear power plant.

The review is based on the animated tv show The Simpsons (1989-present).

Location:
Deep underground
Population:
250,000
Plus:
Sensible governance and world-class rave culture
Minus:
Lack of sunlight and the threat of total annihilation

Zion is a controversial choice for 6th place on a liveability index. The city is located deep underground in excavated caverns. Earth is controlled by intelligent machines, and Zion is the last stronghold of the human race. The city is completely deprived of sunlight and the threat of annihilation by the machines is constantly present. This makes the fact that Zion is actually quite liveable even more impressive.

Zion is ruled by a council of elders, a transparent and fair governing body that effectively addresses the many challenges facing the city. Zion is located close to the warm core of the earth, providing an abundance of clean renewable energy. The city operates a fleet of electromagnetic hovercrafts for protection. Serving as a hovercraft crew member is considered a very honourable deed.

The city is a marvellous piece of architecture and engineering. The main living area is a giant vertical cylinder lined with living units along its sides on multiple levels. The cylinder is crisscrossed by numerous walkways and stairs, all constructed in a techno-gothic-style with a twist of steampunk. Massive gatherings and intense raves are hosted at the city's main venue The Temple. The people of Zion sure know how to party, but are not afraid of contemplation either. Tales, legends and stories of great battles and heroic deeds are passed down from generation to generation. Zion is not only a city, it is also an identity, or maybe even a religion.

This city sure faces some massive challenges but also has many great things to offer: effective governance, authentic culture and a strong sense of unity. Zion keeps on fighting a battle that sometimes seems impossible and futile. But the good people of Zion are never losing hope, and keep on raving till the machines are defeated.

The review is based on The Matrix film trilogy (1999-2003).

Location:
Land of Oz
Population:
57,318
Plus:
Bright green psychedelic bliss
Minus:
Lack of democracy and some wicked witches

If you are into psychedelics and looking for a trippy place to call your home, then you should seriously consider Emerald City. Located at the end of the yellow brick road, the city's super tall skyscrapers tower into the sky. There are no suburbs or dull industrial areas, only pure green, super-congested urbanity, surrounded by a protective wall system. Beyond the city is a lush landscape of colourful fields and rolling hills. The abundance of emeralds makes the city glow bright green, and the emerald shape is evident throughout the urban fabric. The futuristic buildings of Emerald City are inspired by various kinds of religious architecture with high arched ceilings, spires and leaded panes. The city is home to the Wizard of Oz, who lives in the marvellous Palace of Oz.

Have a walk through Emerald City, get a spa treatment at Wash & Brush Up Co. and enjoy the abundant greenery and flowers covering every public space. You might even encounter a colour-shifting horse employed in the local transport service. A visit to Emerald City can make even the most hardcore fashionista speechless. The locals are dressed in an extravagant mix of cloth referring to various epochs and cultures, from baroque dresses to cleric-inspired outfits, all in bright green hues, and often accessorised with lavish hats.

The city is a postmodern techno paradise. On the surface, no improvement is needed. However, one can’t help wondering if the supreme leadership of the Wizard is really appropriate in the long run? Would the city benefit from a transition to democracy? All the blatant happiness and perfect architecture can seem a bit boring. There must be rebellion hidden somewhere. What does Emerald City have to offer people who do not fit into the bright green, Wizard-worshipping way of life? Also, the constant threat from the wicked witches of the east and west seems to be weighing down this otherwise brilliant city.

The review is based on the film The Wizard of Oz (1939) and the book The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1900).

Location:
Colorado, USA
Population:
4,388
Plus:
Beautiful location and absence of boredom
Minus:
Alien invasions, civil wars, etc.

At first glance, South Park looks just like any other rural town, with one- and two-story buildings centred around a central main street and surrounded by snow-covered mountains and pine trees. But make no mistake, South Park is anything but normal. This place has seen all kinds of weird stuff going down- an alien invasion, time travellers from the future and even a civil war.

The classicist town hall building is located on the main street. The area in front of the town hall has hosted a wide variety of gatherings, demonstrations, concerts and performances often related to the eventful nature of South Park. The town also has a hospital, an elementary school, a police station, a mall and a church. All of this is pretty standard for any small town, except that these locations are often the setting of the strangest events.

The town can actually be quite pleasant if you are able to cope with all the craziness. Grab a snack at M Burgers, have a pizza slice at Whistlin' Willy's, enjoy some panang at City Wok and end the night with a drink at Skeeter's Wine Bar. South Park is surrounded by beautiful nature, and the cold climate is ideal for winter sports.

If you are looking for a quiet getaway, then this is definitely NOT the place. But, if you can embrace the weirdness, then South Park can be a rather interesting and entertaining place to call your home.

The review is based on the animated tv show South Park (1997-present).

Location:
On top of old New York
Population:
Millions
Plus:
Multicultural mega-metropolis that never sleeps
Minus:
Discrimination against mutants

New New York has an iconic skyline- skyscrapers and mega-structures in all kinds of styles and forms define this super-congested mega-city. You can get around in one of the flying cars and buses, or board the tubeline, a pneumatic tube system for humans. Uncomfortable, but effective.

New New York offers a wide variety of culture, leisure and entertainment. Madison Cube Garden is an enormous venue that hosts sports and cultural events. The bizarre Head Museum exhibits living heads of statesmen, artists and celebrities. Their impressive collection includes the likes of George Washington, Orson Welles and Nicole Kidman. Grab a quick snack at Fishy Joe’s, or go for some upper-class dining at Elzar’s Fine Cuisine, headed by the four-armed Neptunian superstar chef Elzar.

The population of New New York is made up of all kinds of species and robots from all over the universe. Beneath the Streets of New New York lies the ruins of Old New York. Here, mutants operate and maintain pipes and machinery that support the city above. The mutants are subject to discrimination and harassment, and do not receive much gratitude for their crucial work. This is quite frankly a shameful abomination!

New New York is a hectic, crazy and loveable city. It’s a bustling mega-metropol with great buildings and impressive attractions. However, New New York needs to address liveability for ALL of its citizens before being able to gain a top ranking on this index.

The Review is based on the animated tv show Futurama (1999-2013).

Location:
California, USA
Population:
38,500
Plus:
Every weird creature and being that you could wish for
Minus:
Boring architecture and lying officials

Sunnydale looks like an archetypical sleepy suburban town, with its one-story family homes and relaxed atmosphere. Located north of L.A. on the California coast, Sunnydale has a nice comfortable climate and could even seem a bit boring at first. But, don’t judge a book by its cover. This town is actually one of the craziest places on this list. Beneath the surface of suburban bliss, pure evil is lurking- literally. Sunnydale is located on top of the entrance to Hell, also known as the Hellmouth. The gateway is found right underneath Sunnydale High. The town is crawling with vampires, demons and all kinds of supernatural scum.

A night stroll is a risky affair. Whenever you are enjoying a concert at The Bronze or sipping a coffee at the Espresso Pump, the occult is never far away. Chances are that you will not leave Sunnydale alive, or at least not in the conventional form of a human being. The locals remain strangely in denial of the nightmarish nature of their town, while the municipality and law enforcement are doing their part to cover up the truth.

Sunnydale is not for the faint of heart. This town is, however, a go-to destination for everybody with a healthy dose of new age obsession with the mystical and the occult. Sunnydale offers unique experiences involving black magic, exotic demons, sexy vampires and satanic rituals. Bring a cross and some holy water, and be prepared to face the dark side while enjoying the crazy life of the Hellmouth.

The review is based on the tv show Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2003).

Location:
Florida, USA
Population:
1,800,000
Plus:
Beautiful sunsets and chic tropical postmodernism
Minus:
Gang wars and drug trafficking

Vice City could easily be deemed to a button ranking on a liveability index. The city is a drug trafficking hub, the streets are roamed by violent gangs, and mobsters control the criminal underworld. Wild car chases occur frequently, and shoot-outs are an everyday routine. A city caught in a downward spiral of violence.

But there is a different story to Vice City, a story of sunny leisure and tropical postmodernism. Vice City is located around a bay with numerous islands and bridges. The beautiful sunset gradients call for a fruity drink on the promenade of Ocean Beach. When the night sets in, the city is illuminated by pastel coloured neon lights, and synth pop fills the air. Dance the night away in one of the many clubs, or enjoy a stay at one of the fine hotels, often constructed in exquisite postmodern style. Get your kicks on a speedboat, or relax at a lavish resort. The urban fabric is predominately made up of low two-to-three-storey buildings, with occasional high-rises and mansions. The airport is located close to the city centre, and getting around is really easy in a (preferably convertible) car.

These two versions of Vice City are locked in an ever-going dance of pleasure and death. This is also the reason for Vice City's mediocre ranking on this index. With a bit of luck, the city is a generous and hospitable place. But, if you happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, or make your living in the criminal underworld, Vice City will most likely be your grave. Liveable from one point of view while deadly from another.

The review is based on the video game Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (2002).

Location:
The Core Worlds
Population:
1,000,000,000,000
Plus:
Impressive city planning on a truly monumental scale
Minus:
Huge inequality and inhumane sublevel living conditions

There are mega-cities, and then there is Coruscant, spanning an entire planet, divided into thousands of levels and housing a population of 1 trillion. This city is truly gigantic on an almost incomprehensible scale. Its main features are clearly visible from space, and the engineering and architecture is just mind-boggling.

The city is the galactic centre of power and houses its main governing bodies, businesses, corporate headquarters and cultural institutions. Stroll by the Jedi Temple, or visit the iconic senate building. Take a flight on one of the city's airborne highways, or stay in a super-tall skyscraper. Enjoy the cosmopolitan atmosphere, and engage with visitors from all over the galaxy. All these activities are, however, only available to the economic, political and cultural elite occupying Coruscant’s surface. Going underground into the thousands of sublevels reveals a city of deep social divide. Sunlight never reaches these areas, and the life of the poor and unwanted living here is harsh. Coruscant is literally built on top of huge inequality.

The absence of nature, oceans and open expanses is suffocating. The mega city affects and pollutes every aspect of the planet's environment. Furthermore, the concentration of political and economic power makes it prone to conflicts, invasions and wars. The stability of Coruscant is heavily dependent on the political climate of the galaxy. Changing things for the better on Coruscant is a truly monumental task of almost biblical proportions, but the benefits could also be of equal greatness. Coruscant urgently needs to address its social, environmental and political challenges to serve as a beacon of hope and prosperity throughout the galaxy.

The review is based on the Star Wars films (1977-2018) and media franchise.

Location:
Washington, USA
Population:
51,201
Plus:
Beautiful nature and slow-paced living
Minus:
Evil lurking in the woods and an excess of bizarre murders

The drive to Twin Peaks is marvellous. Picturesque mountains tower into the clouds, while the road snakes its way through the dense pine forest. Twin Peaks is a hospitable town, where life goes on at a comfortably slow pace. Located in the State of Washington near the Canadian border, Twin Peaks offers a rural antidote to the busy life of the city. Visitors can enjoy a stay at the Great Northern Hotel and marvel at the waterfall nearby. Fishing and sailing on the rivers and lakes are common leisure activities. The Double R Diner serves the best in local food and beverages. The Bang Bang Bar, known primarily by its nickname the Roadhouse, is the place to go for drinking and entertainment. The bar hosts an impressive line-up of musicians and caters to an audience of bikers, truck drivers and local youth. Twin Peaks primarily consists of timber buildings, and the close proximity to nature makes for stunning views.

Twin Peaks is, however, burdened by a mystical evil lurking in the surrounding forest. The town is no stranger to brutal murders, and has seen its fair share of strange and mystical occurrences. Twin Peaks also suffers from suffocating gossip and rumours, while dark secrets seldom see the light of day.

The wonderfully eccentric population deserves to enjoy their town and the impressive nature without having to fear for the lives of themselves and their loved ones. Twin Peaks has so much to offer, but the demons and darkness must be exorcised before this beautiful town can become truly liveable.

The review is based on the television series Twin Peaks (1990-1991, 2017)

Location:
USA
Population:
Millions
Plus:
Dazzling art deco architecture and a vibrant nightlife
Minus:
Mistreatment of the working class and top down governance

Metropolis at night is a dazzling sight. Supertall skyscrapers illuminated by millions of lights, connected on multiple levels by railways and roads. Aeroplanes landing on top of buildings while the hectic streets below are bustling with activity. The monumental art deco architecture is centred around the awe-inspiring New Tower of Babel. The gigantic building is home to the city master and supreme capitalist Joh Fredersen.

You can marvel at the impressive skyline, or spend your days in the pleasure gardens with the carefree sons of the ruling class. The decadent Yoshiwara Club is the go-to place for drinking and dancing. The Cathedral offers spiritual enlightenment and a moment of solitude and silence in this hectic city.

Metropolis is extremely hierarchical, with a strict class system. The machine halls (operated by the working class) are situated underneath the beautiful skyscrapers. The machines keep the city alive, but the gratitude towards the workers is nowhere to be found. After the unbearably long and exhausting shifts, they descend like cattle in giant elevators to their underground city. No sunlight reaches this place. The only shimmer of hope for the proletariat are rebel priests conducting unauthorised religious ceremonies in the catacombs underneath the city. Social unrest and revolution is a serious threat.

Metropolis has a lot to offer with its magnificent architecture and vibrant nightlife, but the city needs to address its social problems. The working class deserves to live decent lives without being hidden away in underground slums. Metropolis should rethink its hierarchical top-down governance and opt for a more democratic and inclusive way of distributing power. This would ensure a stable and secure future for this otherwise impressive city.

The review is based on the film Metropolis (1927).

Location:
Westeros
Population:
500,000
Plus:
Beautiful location and charming buildings
Minus:
Violence and unacceptable living conditions for the poor

King’s Landing is the largest city in the Seven Kingdoms and home to the Iron Throne. Beautifully situated on the picturesque eastern coast of Westeros. The city is made up of narrow streets and small plazas surrounded by medieval stone buildings. The Red Keep is an impressive castle which houses the Iron Throne and serves as the absolute centre of power in the Seven Kingdoms.

The city enjoys a warm climate and comfortable living conditions for the ones who can afford it. Inequality is an all-encompassing problem. Most of the 500,000 citizens are living in the slums of Flea Bottom. Flea Bottom suffers from insufficient sanitation and congested housing. The area is home to many bars and brothels, where excessive drinking and fighting are everyday occurrences. King’s Landing is also feeling the burden of power. Constant battle for control of the Iron Throne makes outbreaks of violence common. Its population has suffered many wars, sieges and massacres.

King’s Landing is a city of extreme opposites, from the ruling family in the Red Keep to the proletariat in Flea Bottom, and from its stunning seaside views to the claustrophobic streets of its slums. With its beautiful architecture and charming atmosphere, King’s Landing could be the most liveable city in the Seven Kingdoms, if only its rulers would care to address the massive social problems and secure a lasting peace.

The review is based on the television series Game of Thrones (2011-2019).

Location:
USA
Population:
Millions
Plus:
Good hearted people
Minus:
Massive corruption

Basin City is a rough place. Known to most by its nickname Sin City, and home to all kinds of illegal and shady activities. Sin City is a kind of modern western town, with a desert-like climate and only occasional rain. The elite is living in the Sacred Oaks area, in giant mansions with lavish gardens. The Docks is a sizable industrial harbour by the shore of the river running through the city. Old Town is the prostitution centre. The abandoned dinosaur theme park, by the Tar Pits, is an impressive if not scary sight. Rumour has it that mobsters are disposing bodies into the pits. The city is ruled by the all-powerful Roark family. A giant statue of Cardinal Roark towers over the streets, making the hierarchy of the city painfully clear. The crooked Roarks reign supreme. The police force is notoriously corrupt, and the mob rules the underworld.

Basin City is, however, not all misery and lies. This place is also home to some good-hearted folks. The sex workers maintain order and dole out justice in Old Town. Hard hitting, but fair. Swing by Kadie’s Saloon for a midnight drink. An unpolished, western-themed strip club, but also known as one of the safer locations in the city. If you are out of line, the regulars will sure as hell let you know.

Basin City deserves its nickname Sin City, an accumulation of corruption and violence. But this place could actually be liveable. The Roarks must be thrown out of office and preferably directly into jail, while massive social reforms are needed. Let the good-hearted people flourish, and prosecute the elite hiding in their Sacred Oak palaces. Only then will Basin City be able to leave the deranged darkness behind and move towards a brighter future.

The review is based on the comic book series Sin City (1991-2000).

Location:
A port somewhere
Population:
Hundreds of thousands
Plus:
Romantic steampunk galore
Minus:
Polluted and poorly maintained

Romantic is maybe not the word most often associated with the The City of Lost Children, but this steampunk version of Venice sure has its qualities. Rusty, worn and torn. Multi-layered with numerous small channels, bridges and walkways. Corroded brick work interlaced with cast iron structures. Steam rising from vents in the streets. Dimly lit and always moist. The City of Lost Children is raw noir, a beautiful, dystopian creation of Gustave Eiffel's depressed twin brother.

But the romantic fever dream only goes so far. The City of Lost Children is also a nightmare, with huge inequality and massive crime. The extremist cult of the Cyclops roams the streets, kidnapping children. Gangs of minors terrorise the neighbourhoods, and the poorly-maintained buildings offer insufficient housing. Algae creeps in everywhere, and the water in the canals is extremely polluted.

The City of Lost Children might be the wet dream of any noir aficionado or steampunk connoisseur on a voyeuristic weekend trip. But, for its citizens, this place is harsh. Saving the city from the massive social problems, pollution and bad housing might not be possible without sacrificing its romantic edge. Gentrification would turn this authentic place into a theme park with only faint echoes of its former dystopian glory. Liberal market thinking is not the answer to reform The City of Lost Children. Bjarke Ingels needs to stay away! The population should be included in the transformation, while visionary politicians should seek to redistribute wealth and tackle the many challenges. Only then can some of the qualities be maintained, without losing everything into a sinkhole of greedy developers and rampant capitalism.

The review is based on the film The City of Lost Children (1995).

Location:
USA
Population:
Millions
Plus:
Impressive architecture
Minus:
High crime rate and corruption

Gotham is a hard place to live. Unstable, windswept, heat wave-prone and dirty. The city has its fair share of problems, from a corrupt police force and incompetent politicians to massive social issues and a high crime rate. Just walking down the street can be lethal, a violent robbery is never far away. Nothing is done to address the social issues. Instead, the criminals are locked up at the notorious Arkham Asylum, a place that seems more like a crime school than a rehabilitation facility. Given the weak governance, the citizens are pretty much left to vigilantes for protection.

Gotham is, however, a really interesting place, architecturally speaking. The city is every postmodern city planner’s wet dream of a super-congested, uncontrolled urban fabric. The streets are crowded and busy, while TV helicopters are hovering in the sky like vultures waiting for the next cadaver. Gotham is organised in a grid structure, with all kinds of spectacular skyscrapers. The tallest of them all are the Twin Towers, a masterpiece constructed in a kind of postmodern techno-gothic style. A medieval European castle from the future extruded into the sky.

But the impressive aesthetics can’t save Gotham. It's almost like the city is cursed. A faint light of hope is once in a while lit by the super vigilante Batman, bringing some criminal to justice. This hope, however, is quickly turned into despair when the next bad guy in line takes over, like a devilish snake growing back its head. Gotham deserves to be liveable, but with the clowns in office and the maniacs on the streets, this ain't going to happen anytime soon.

The review is based on comic books The Dark Knight Returns (1986) and Batman: Year One (1987).

Location:
USA
Population:
654,763
Plus:
Nice place (on the surface)
Minus:
The Umbrella Corporation

You can’t say Raccoon City without saying The Umbrella Corporation. The two are locked in a toxic relationship and it is not a happy marriage! On the surface, Raccoon City is an ordinary American metropolis with elected governance and freedom of speech, but in reality, everything is controlled by The Umbrella Corporation. Deep underneath the streets lies The Hive, a top secret underground research facility operated by Umbrella and employing around 500 people. Here, the corporation carries out highly questionable research in DNA technology and biological warfare.

Most of the population in Raccoon City is unaware of Umbrella's omnipresent influence, blissfully ignorant of the fact that they serve as de-facto lab rats, for the corporation's megalomanic desire for wealth and power. Besides the dictatorship of Umbrella, there is also the constant risk of a secret experiment getting out of hand, releasing some deadly virus or hellish creature onto the streets of Raccoon City.

Raccoon City is a prime example of why corporate power needs to be controlled and regulated. What might seem to be an excellent opportunity for jobs and economic growth can soon turn into Dante's Inferno (literally!). Neoliberalism on a downward spiral into hell. Raccoon City would probably be a liveable place without Umbrella, but as long as the corporation is in control, this is not a place you would want to call your home.

The review is based on the Resident Evil film series (2002-2016).

Location:
In a desert somewhere
Population:
Thousands
Plus:
Faint shimmers of a revolt
Minus:
Psychopathic governance and battle for resources

From afar, The Citadel looks like a lovely place. An oasis, beautifully located in the middle of a vast desert, carved out from three gigantic rocks and abundant in water, crops and lush greenery. Bridges connect the different areas, and cranes transport goods up the steep cliff sides. The Citadel is, however, anything but lovely. It’s a nightmare. The worst place on this list.

The Citadel is ruled by the dictatorial leader Immortan Joe, who has established a cult of fanatical war boys and a quasi-religion mixing Norse mythology and V8 engines. Life expectancy is short around here. The nuclear wars, previously rampaging the planet, have caused widespread cancer and the war boys have a preference for kamikaze-style military operations. People are captured and used as involuntary organ donors, and Immortan Joe holds captive a harem of young “wives” for breeding his successor. The population is effectively held as slaves, dependent on the precious water from deep underground. The region of dusty desert surrounding the town is a violent and harsh place. Constant battle for resources and extreme sandstorms are common, while the neighbouring settlement of Gas Town suffers from equally psychopathic governance. Everything is in a state of hellish decay, from the cancer-ridden bodies to the absence of any ethical concern for human life.

But, maybe there is a faint shimmer of hope among all the terror. People are getting tired of Immortan Joe's bullshit. A revolt is lurking among the tormented population of The Citadel. But even with a change of leadership, the poisoned bodies, violent neighbours and battles for resources would still pose major challenges. It would not be easy to drag The Citadel out of its misery. People here deserve empathetic leaders to help them navigate the challenging times and spark hope for a better future.

The review is based on the film Mad Max: Fury Road (2015).

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